"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.”
This is said to be a scriptural quote from a speech made by Hillary Clinton in the wake of the killings of two black men and the apparent backlash killing of police in Dallas. The quote turns out to speak to me more than I would expect. My own life is exhausting and wearing me out and the emotional fallout from events such as these seem to take more heart than I have to give.
And yet I remember telling my therapist a long time ago that I was persistent and determined, though not about these events, of course. I think I still am, in general, though it seems to take a lot more energy these days. So this quote propped me up, so to speak. Maybe someone here needed to hear/read it, too.
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Well, I’m finished with my physical therapy for nearly a week now. At first it seemed like I had really done some good because I was walking straighter, taller, and felt good.
And just that fast it spiraled downward and for the last two or three days I’ve been feeling worse and had more difficulty getting around than I can remember in several years. I don’t know what’s up.
Today is a rough day, not as tough as yesterday, but tough, hard to walk, lots of pain, but laundry must be done. Even sleeping late wasn’t enough to make me feel better.
Maybe I’m trying to do too much as if it’s no big deal, instead of making sure I get my homework done. I let the urgent get in the way of, take over from, the absolutely necessary.
So, tomorrow – or maybe later today – I’ll do my homework no matter how painful or unpleasant it might be and see if I can reverse that spiral.
I will not lose heart even though it seems taken out of me right now.
I will not lose heart.
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