I said I’d not mention things about the tumor and such again but I have a bit of a different slant on it that might not make it such a bore. At least I hope some of you might see it that way.
I think I mentioned that many of the supplements I’m taking and have taken for years turn out to be natural forms of the anti-hormone pills I’m supposed to take for the next five years. And that I won’t be taking them any more. The pills, that is. I’m continuing the supplements, maybe even adding to them.
I wonder if the fact that I’ve been using the supplements had anything to do with the fact that the tumor was pretty much confined to one locale and hadn’t spread to lymph nodes, etc. There’s no way to be sure about that, of course, but I can’t help but wonder. My intuition suggests it’s possible.
Every so often I sort of wonder about doing something different, dropping a certain supplement or increasing the dose or taking a new one, and that suggests to me that my Higher Self may be hinting at something new. Trouble is, Higher Self isn’t always clear; it seems to want to make me make the decision, to grow up, be an adult. I’m not real good at listening to Higher Self yet, though sooner or later I’ll often do something "impulsive" that’s been cooking silently on the back burner and it seems to turn out OK. Maybe Higher Self is acting then.
Since natural and plant supplements often provide much lower dosages than the synthetic stuff, I’ve thought that maybe I should increase the amounts that I use but since I’m already over many of the recommended amounts I’m being very careful what I do. Decisions, decisions. Growth.
What this post is leading up to is that I think the world is in an evolutionary "learning curve" that’s rapidly rising and things like cancer and world disruptions and such have a purpose, though I’m not sure exactly what that might be. I suspect it’s to help us learn to make difficult decisions, to become co-creators of the world we live in. I think my cancer is to give me the chance to learn to pay attention to something I’ve often given short shrift. Intuition, listening to my heart. I’ve long lived in my head.
We like to think of growth as something orderly and controlled but Mother Nature doesn’t always see things the same way we do. We’re being given a chance to learn and participate in something most of us have long believed to take ages and eons and to happen more or less accidentally and beyond our control, beyond our lifetime.
But evolution is now happening even as we observe it (though it may not be clear that’s what it is at the time) and it may seem more like a “world of hurt” than growth, which is what evolution is. Many of us want to return to life as it was, as it used to be, but a state that’s characterized by no growth is called death. It’s our choice. Scary, huh?
We’re no longer following paths that have been laid out by those who went before us who, we believe, might have been wiser than we are. We’re making new paths where there are none and we’re becoming "the ones that have gone before."
When it’s only you that’s involved with your intuitive choices and decisions it’s easier than when it also involves others. It’s often painful and exhausting and worrisome when we understand that what we feel is right may simply be opinion, and biased, at that. How can we be sure it’s our intuition and correct?
Follow your heart. Intuition, like the Higher Self, doesn’t shout. But then, good teachers don’t have to shout, they gently guide, and let you learn at your own speed and in your own way. Dam’! LOL
That intuition thing is tricky, isn’t it? There’s a feeling of “right,” – not righteousness – when we get it, though. I think we have to learn to trust it by trusting it and by learning when we get it wrong. We may feel more confident and comfortable when we follow our head but if we let our heart inform our head we can have it all. That’s pretty much the way we grow up, become adults, by making mistakes and learning from those mistakes and living with the consequences, painful and/or sad though they may be.
But if we don’t start at least giving half an ear to intuition and the Higher Self we may not have the chance to grow or have a planet to grow on.
I wonder what the new human being will be like.
Sam, I go through this all the time – and I’ve noticed that when I find myself asking another person’s advice, it’s for what I really want to do, and what I want “permission” to do. Because when I say, “Do you think I should . . . ” and they say, “Go for it!” I feel like shouting “Yipee!” That’s when I realize it was permission I was seeking, and my goal is to give MYSELF permission more often. I’m getting better at it. But I still like to ask my husband whether he thinks I’m making a mistake, and I love it when he supports my difficult decisions. One of the ways of checking a decision is to make it, and then live with it and see how we feel about it. If it feels good, it was the right decision; if it feels bad, it can be reversed. I hope this helps.
BTW, a lot of medical advice that comes from the physician is dead wrong. Ask yourself how you would feel if the doctor told you to experiment with the dosages of your supplements . . . would you get that “Yipee!” feeling? 🙂
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i rarely ask “permission” to accept my own decisions but that’s mostly because I have no friends that I see regularly and SO rarely agrees with me anyway. *G* I’ve learned to make my own decisions and then live with them, though I rarely make a decision quickly. It sometimes seems that I do, though, but I finally realized that’s only appearance, not reality.
I agree with you that the only way to make a decision is to live with it a bit and if it feels good, do it. Wasn’t there a saying about that back in the 60s or 70s? LOL
I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the docs I’ve had throughout all of this and by their acceptance and knowledge of herbs and various supplements and such. When one told me these pills could cause liver problems and I told her I’d been using milk thistle to support my liver she said, “Milk thistle’s good.” Whoa! I didn’t expect that. But I feel more comfortable with them all, from the surgeon to the radiologist to the oncologist because they seem open to what I want to do.
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Yes, I’ve noticed that happening here and there, more and more, a doctor suggesting supplements I’ve been taking for years. We’re way ahead of them on that score! Nice that they’re coming around . . .
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Maybe, just maybe, the new human beings will be more human.
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That’s my hope, Ed. I think human beings are pretty remarkable creatures but I get depressed at times, seeing how the things they go through as a species don’t seem to teach them all that much. I only hope we get it right soon. I mean, the Age of Aquarius is 2000 years, give or take, so it doesn’t have to happen all at once. But pretty soon, I think, or we’ll have to find another planet to do our growing on. Maybe that’s what being “Raptured” is all about. *G*
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